iwill be the first to say that i did.
not surprising considering how they treated me all my life.
i had conseling for it ( wordly counselor) but between us neither one could work out where this issue came from.
"Interesting that several here would not mention to their Counselors that they were JWs."
I could not believe my JW wife when she questioned why I would mention to my therapist that I was a JW and that I was brought up as a JW. She felt that by doing so I was bringing "reproach upon Jehovah." Here was a professional who needed to know this, who I was paying to receive professional help and who was there to help me and yet I was supposed to keep this hidden from him!
HQ
whatever your chosen strategy for leaving jws, the fundamental truth is that there is no clean / simple exit.
the mind control, the manipulation of normal family relationships etc will make any strategy very difficult at times.
the key issue is to know this ahead of time and be prepared, as best you can.. we've all chosen leaving strategies acording to our personal circumstances, preferences and learning from others.
Opps! I meant to say. "I wish so much that someone had taken me aside and told me the truth about "the Truth"!"
whatever your chosen strategy for leaving jws, the fundamental truth is that there is no clean / simple exit.
the mind control, the manipulation of normal family relationships etc will make any strategy very difficult at times.
the key issue is to know this ahead of time and be prepared, as best you can.. we've all chosen leaving strategies acording to our personal circumstances, preferences and learning from others.
Allow me to express my view point on fading. The key problem I see with fading is it causes people with doubts to believe that you still believe. In my case I stayed in far too long because I kept telling myself that all these smart people would not be in if it was not the truth. I wish so much that someone had taken me aside and told me the truth and "the Truth"! And, until I found this site, I was in total ignorance as to the extent of non believers. So, any smart person who is "in" is perhaps setting a "bad" example by staying in. Just my thoughts.
HQ
blueblades/mall cop said in a post that he was "lingering" on as a jw for decades hoping to understand things about the "truth" that were still unexplainable.
(my words, paraphrasing).. i did the same thing for probably a decade, either hoping things in the organization might change or i might finally "get it", regarding some teaching or viewpoint that just seemed to make no sense.. did you hang on to the "truth" much longer than you should have?.
"I could not ignore this and I knew it was all bullshit and they were playing everybody."
Yes, I used to give them all the benefit of the doubt I could. But I realized that they were playing us for fools when they had the nerve to have us do a book study lesson on the evils of the UN at the exact same time the Internet was alive with the news about their UN NGO membership. I thought to myself, they were so openly and arrogantly playing us all for fools.
HQ
blueblades/mall cop said in a post that he was "lingering" on as a jw for decades hoping to understand things about the "truth" that were still unexplainable.
(my words, paraphrasing).. i did the same thing for probably a decade, either hoping things in the organization might change or i might finally "get it", regarding some teaching or viewpoint that just seemed to make no sense.. did you hang on to the "truth" much longer than you should have?.
Excellent topic and thread!
HQ
did it ever bother any of you that you and your family were talked about to the co during the elders meeting with him?
and for those who have been elders, my question is: how much do they tell him?
for some reason, it has always bothered me that this man, who is a complete stranger really, is informed of family or personal situations through the lense of elder's opinions.
"I have no respect for the way this org is set up. I never liked the idea of them making blanket decisions for you and your family based on someone Else's (elders) words. Not even in a court of law is this allowed!."
When the CO visited after my JW wife left me, he and the elders talked and, without discussing the matter with me, took it upon themselves to write a letter to my new congregation telling them that I was not scripturally free, which I was. How they can take it upon themselves to make these judgment calls and take such life altering actions without talking to me, the victim, is what amazes and disgusts me.
HQ
borg message incoming.
on screen.. borg: blizzard is irrelevant.
even though this is a judicial matter, it's really a shepherding call.
Like Oz, I too had to "walk" in order to gain my sanity. I too moved on when made to feel like a piece of trash by my wife, her JW family and JW friends. I too could not survive in what had become a hostile enviroment against me. By my exit I lost the wife I once loved and cared for so deeply, the house, the cars, the assets, and with my wife's slander, I lost my valuable reputation, which took years to rebuild. For me too it was really hard to have the relationship I invested so much into go sour. My wife and I were also best friends. In the end it all turned to hate, with the religion used against me as a tool.
Yes, I too have been suicidal, and made to feel worthless and, with all my pain, I too had literally zero help. For me, this too was a dark dark time.
But now I have made a new life, with true friends, and I too have a new wife who loves me.
There are more of us like Oz and me and, together, we can support you.
HQ
i am a support worker for adults with profound disabilities and some with autism and i love caring for people ..
I am the Borg's worst fear. I am in telecommunications and I make a good living developing broadband networks around the U.S. and thereby give more and more people access to the Internet.
HQ
do you still contribute for literature, give to the worldwide work, kingdom hall fund or contribute towards the upkeep of your local kh?
if you do - why?.
"He could tell when people were unhappy with the administration, they would "vote with their pocketbook." There tended to be more in the box for utilities, etc., then for the "worldwide work.""
Me being an "unhappy with the admin" guy I never give to the WT so that I can "vote" with my pocketbook. This includes never paying for the mags/lit though, if I do get money from a householder (which I never do because I never ask), then I will put the money in the box for the lit. Like some I do feel an obligation to help pay for the upkeep/utilities for the hall since I like my local "brothers" and "sisters" and I would feel bad if I didn't help them out.
HQ
i find paragraph 20 quite interesting in the jan 2010 study article.
http://download.jw.org/files/media_magazines/w_f-st_e_20100115.pdf.
"prove to be a real follower of christ".
I do feel the need to balance these posts with a positive experience.
Even though some "friends" that I would have expected would attend my mom's funeral didn't (she was a 50+ years faithful JW)...when my wife developed cancer and was getting treatments at a clinic hundreds of miles from home, not only did she get visits from a local congregation who learned of her condition...but me, the healthly one living alone at home, also received visits from my cong that included hot meals so that I often didnt have to try to cook for myself....and I was just a lousy publisher with NO responsibilities and poor meeting attendance.
That is not to say this is normal, as I have heard far too often the sad stories as decribed above.
HQ
